Les sous doués

Les 10 meilleures raisons de préférer une bière à Dieu

10. Personne ne vous tuera si vous n'en buvez pas

9. La bière vous fiche la paix au sujet des pratiques sexuelles

8. La bière n'a jamais causé de guerre majeure

7. Personne n'impose la bière à des mineurs incapables de penser par eux-mêmes

6. Quand vous avez une bière, vous n'allez pas faire du porte-à-porte pour essayer de la partager

5. Personne n'a été brûlé vif, pendu, décapité, écartelé ou empalé au sujet de sa bière préférée

4. Il n'y a pas besoin d'attendre 2000 ans pour avoir une autre bière

3. La loi oblige les étiquettes de bière à vous dire la vérité

2. On peut prouver que la bière existe

1. Si vous avez consacré votre existence à la bière, il y a des gens pour vous aider à arrêter.

Quelques blagues

Je suis de retour maintenant :P

blague 1:
Cette question a été posée à 2 groupes d'experts, l'un composé de
femmes, l'autre, d'hommes. Il leur fallait trouver 4 raisons pour
justifier
le
genre masculin ou féminin d'un ordinateur.
Le groupe de femmes conclut que l'ordinateur était de genre
masculin car:
1) Pour capter son attention, il faut l'allumer.
2) Il est plein d'informations, mais aucune imagination.
3) Il est supposé vous aider mais la moitié
>du temps il est LE
problème.
4) Dès que vous vous engagez avec un, vous réalisez que si vous
aviez
attendu un peu plus longtemps vous auriez eu un modèle plus
performant.
Le groupe d'hommes arriva à la conclusion que l'ordinateur était de
genre
féminin pour les raisons suivantes :
1) Personne, sauf son créateur ne comprend sa logique interne.
2) Le langage natif qu'il utilise pour dialoguer avec un autre
ordinateur
est
incompréhensible.
3) La moindre petite erreur est stockée en mémoire pour être
ressortie au
moment le plus inopportun.
4) Dès que vous vous engagez avec un, vous découvrez que vous devez
dépenser la moitié de votre salaire en accessoires.

blague 2: (en anglais mais superbe)
Think you are a poker stud?

Two couples were playing poker one evening. John accidentally dropped somecards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he
noticed Bill's wife Sue wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress!
Shocked by this, John upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later, John went to the kitchen to get some
refreshments.

Bill's wife followed and asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?" Surprised by her boldness, John courageously admitted that, well
indeed he did. She said, "Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500."

After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, John confirms that he is interested. She tells him that
since her husband Bill works Friday afternoons and John doesn't, John should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.

When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's house at 2 p.m. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed. John quickly dressed and left.

As usual, Bill came home from work at 6 p.m. and upon entering the house, asked his wife abruptly, "Did John come by the house this afternoon?"

With a lump in her throat Sue answered "Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon."

Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked,"And did he give you $500?"

In terror she assumed that somehow he had found out and after mustering her best poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500."
Bill, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, "Good, I was hoping he did. John came by the office this morning and
borrowed $500 from me. He promised me he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back."

Now THAT, my friends, is a poker player!


blague 3: (en anglais, pas mal non plus)

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband isat work.

Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.
Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet.
The boy now has company.

Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
Man: "How much?"
Boy: "$750."
Man: "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball."
The boy says, "I can't ! I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says,"$1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that.
That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again."




Hope this make you laugh a little.

J'etais en voyage pour 5 jours ... et le blog etait trop calme!!

Aida ça va la Suisse?